[Conan_the_Librarian]

So the recovery wagon turns up at bang on 0830 this morning with a cheery extend ring on the doorbell and out I go to be meet with a tow truck! That's not going to happen says I as its a quattro. "O"! says the not so cheery driver, "You didn't say". "I did say its an Audi S8 and it needs a flat-bed truck though didn't I", is my even less cheery reply!

No problem he says and off he goes. Bugger! Is he coming back? 10 minutes later he's back with a flat bed. Cool I think.

Then it's my turn to look a turkey as the battery is flat and the tranny is locked with no wigglys to release some brake in it or what ever. "No problem says my every cheerful driver I have a booster pack".

No he dosen't. It's in the other truck!

Anyway. Now the cheerfulness is getting annoying cause I can't fake it much longer when he phones his mate who turns up with said pack we light up the electrics and............ Rear brakes are seized on! ffs........
It has been there 3 weeks and that has drained the battery and the handbrake was on and this 30 minute job is an hour old

We of course sort it with some judicious rocking. Onto the flat bed and off to the Base and the car club garage.

"You can't come in"! Says the cheerful Policeman
"Why not says I"? "I have a pass for me, my motorbike, the car on the truck and the truck it's on". Trying and failing to be respectful and compliant.

"you ain't got one for him". Says the policeman who I suspect is enjoying this.
At this point the cheery driver points out if we go over the next hour it will be another £37!
Which has an unexpected effect on the cheery Policeman who lets me in as long as I escort him in and out! Bargain or result. One or t'other.

So the car is discharged and I pay him and escort him off. The driver is even more cheerful now as he's been paid and I gave up all pretence of being cheerful so he thinks he's won!

Ha, I rang the dockyard traffic control and reported him for a parking violation so he's banned from the yard for 3 months and won't find out till he tries to get back in. Now I am cheerful.

Some photos



Up on the stands, Half shaft hub nuts cracked and fluids draining.



2 hours latter with the Aircon drained, radiator drained, Power Steering Fluid drained. I am using AudiPages guide to removing the front end with the addition of disconnecting the radiator at the ATF Cooling points. Power Steering cooling points and Aircon Compressor points (still to do).
Also took the motorbike for MOT and got it through with one advisory. So ended the day cheerfully. Yes, I know it won't last.
More tomorrow.

None of the events in this screenplay actually happened and resemblance to anyone living or living dead is purely artistic licence (never let the truth get in the way of a good story).