Re - Would it be this
http://forum.a8parts.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1624
Thanks for that...So happens a mate had one of those relays in his garage so after a bit of fiddling we have just swapped the one highlighted in the picture as the "most common cause" . Same issue, so either a) its not that relay or b) the relay we put in is also faulty !
Does the VAGCOM thing tell you which relay it is...and if so, how do you then know which relay is which ?