[IT]

Call it a mid life crisis, insanity or whatever you like, but I've bought myself an S4.

In my defence, it was a bit of an accident. I put in a low bid, not expecting to clear his reserve or be the highest bidder, bit as it happens, I ended up with it....

So, I picked it up on Thursday night from Worcester. I didnt arrive until 10pm so was already tired and irratable. I needed a quick no fuss exchange of money and drive home to get some much needed sleep.

So, after nearly yanking the door handles off, I fumble around with the keys to unlock the dam thing. I knew there was no keyless entry, and will have to get used to it, but at 10pm and you just want to get in, that was suddenly really hard work. Fortunately, I therefore still had keys in my hand so could put the keys in that slot thing in the ignition and turn it to make the car work (so retro...)

It fired up, and sounded pretty good actually. A small grin appeared on my face as I walked to my mates car to grab my stuff so he could leave.

The grin dissapeared though when I opened the back door to put my stuff in the rear footwell, and found that really, there is no foot well. Its more like an air gap, a blemish, a design flaw... Theres no way you'd get feet in there, letalone my laptop bag.

So, into the passenger footwell with that then as the boot is quite open and square, but lacks the pull down handles of the A8, so you cant hang these up safely in there either.

Its all stuff I'm sure i'll get used to, just not tonight.

So, paid the man, signed the docs, and off we go. Thankfully RNS-E is familair territory, so banged my address in pronto and makes tracks, quite swiftly too.

Its 11pm.

Now time to curse myself for not bring any CD's or anything to listen to, so its a choice of crap-all-on FM or silence...

I open the sunroof and decide to listen to the wind rushing past instead.

I'm searching for a fuel station, as with all recently purchased cars, they tend to have nothing more than a few vapours in them. Bearing in mind the time of night, and the lack of fuel I drive gingerly to conserve fuel.

I reckon with the use of highly calibrated, scientific instruments, a tail wind, downhill section and a bit of good luck, I could prove that the S4 was fractionally more fuel efficient than the A8, but if I'm being totally honest, theres sod all in it. Ah well. LPG conversion it is then....

Into the fuel station, and tank her up. 54 litres. You're kidding. Is that it? How the hell do I drive places with a fuel range of 10 yards... Looking at her under the lights of the petrol station, and it just seems so strikingly obvious how small it is. I feel like I'm running around in a model tonka toy. Had to turn the headlights off, and back on again too. Very manual, so will have to check out the retro-fittability of that...

First impressions are not so good. Bought a choccy bar and some caffine to cheer me up as midnights not far away.

Heading along the M42 and we have a bonus, we find he's left all his Cd's in the changer. They're mostly awful, but hey, at least it beats the wind noise (open the sunroof to make it louder, close the sunroof to still enjoy a good deal of wind/road noise )

So, I'm playing with the ICE, only, its hard work. All the controls are at arms length. I'm used to fingertips. I keep stroking the steering wheels smooth plastic finish to pursude the volume to change, but it does nothing, and I have to reach to the RNS-E to twiddle the knob.

My left arm, resting on the single armrest, keeps stroking the center console area where I expect a range of functional controls to do everything I need, with ease, right now. Changing tracks and CD's is also a stretch to the RNS-E job. Good job I'm not tired...

I settle on a CD, whack up the volume and conclude that actually, with enough sound, it drowns out the road noise, and the quality is comparable to that in the A8, finally, a plus point

Up to this point, I'd been deeply, deeply regretting not just filling in the traders section of the V5, and taking the whole thing so I had the option of simply moving it on next week when I came to my senses. I got it cheap enough, so I was unlikely to lose anything. Still, I could still sell it on even with my name on the V5, and just chalk it up to 'experience'

The one undisputed thing though about this car, is that it feels younger, fresher, stiffer and more willing than the 8. Its 6 years old, with < 60000 miles on the clock and feels like its just run in. I guess its this feeling of bulletproof youth that I was looking for in a car for a while, and it certainly ticks that box.

The facelift big grill front end, makes it seem all the more youthful still. On reflection, its starting to make a bit of sense again, even if its thus far been a tiring and unrewarding drive.....

I get to tadcaster on the A1, its 01:30 and time to leave the motorway. Thank god for that. Music off, sunroof back open and engage sports box to make some progress across the back roads into Harrogate that I know so well

OMFG

The cafeine earlier helped a little, but this adrenaline shot has me wide awake and gripping on for fear of missing some excitement. The V8 is snarling away revving its nuts off quite happily while the quattro system on such a small car lets it take every corner like its on rails. The suspension has an perfect balance of firmness, which made it all quite acceptable on the motorway, but now, here on the back roads it holding everything just how you'd want it - and here was me thinking losing the A8 air suspension would be a big blow, not at all.

I made some significant progress across the back roads, arriving into town in a more sensible fashion. Now, for the first time, I hear the exhaust note from the car resonating off the nearby buildings. Not too loud, but enough to make you feel like you're behind something pretty special. Got a few looks too from passers by, never got that in the 8.... Sure, you could make the 8 sound a bit more growly, but could appear a bit chavvy in a limo, with the S4 though, its seems quite 'acceptable'...

Finally turning into the housing estate and a couple of challenges remain - half a dozen speed bumps which are incredibly annoying, but the S4 sails over them very confidently, despite its low suspension and then finally onto the driveway, which is on a sloping descent, and an 8 will ground out on there if you have the suspension on lift - No drama for the S4 though, happily drove down the drive and came to a gentle burbling standstill at the bottom of the drive....

What a machine.... Completely different (and worse) to an A8 in so many ways, but utterly, totally forgiven for one of the most rewarding drives I've had in years. Its like an Impreza, but with build quality.

I've been out again in it today, and even though theres half a tank of juice in the A8 that needs using, I find myself taking the S4 as round town and these back roads its just fantastic. You can park it, and today I even did a quick 3 point turn in the middle of a narrow road.

I dont like its small low res DIS, the lack of toys, or the relitive lack of space, but somehow if you fixed all that and made it a luxury motor, it would lose all that greatness that makes it fun to drive.

I think you need road/wind noise in a sports car like this, and it has to be smaller and nimble, and really, whos ever going to use the back seats... ?

I went from Thursday evening 'oh my god, I'm not keeping this S4' to Friday 'I cant stand to lose the 8' to today, where I realise that whilst the S4 is here, I'd never use the 8, so its time for its vac, wash, photos taken and on Ebay I guess.....

In the meantime, heres some photos of little and large together