The choices are narrowing down. Bear with me and don't mock (OK, I can take it if you do).
The serious contenders seem to be:
Volvo V40 Cross-country T5 (4WD) 250bhp petrol auto with lots of toys.
Jaguar XE Prestige (200bhp) or Portfolio (240bhp) RWD petrol auto with lots of toys.
I prefer the Jaguar because it's nicer inside and you can get S8-level toys (at a price) if you want them.
SWMBO prefers the Vulva because it's slightly shorter (easier to park?) and has a better "safety" image.
Both are 2.0L turbo engines. At corresponding specification/performance prices/tax/etc. are very similar. Anyone know much about either?
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2003 D2 FL S8. Irish Green Pearl/Beige. Solar sunroof, auto-dim mirrors, electric rear seat functions, ski hatch retrofit; extended leather. Aftermarket DVB-T, reversing camera and full XCarlink (Bluetooth etc.).
2016 Volvo V40 T5 Cross Country (4WD) with ALL the toys including adaptive cruise etc. etc. Osmium Grey with Blonde/Charcoal leather interior. Polestar performance "optimisation".  (A much rarer model than a D2 S8 by the way!) Oh, and a brand new engine at just under 30,000 miles on the factory one! 
Finally: gone, but not forgotten.....
1998 D2 PF S8. AgateGrey/Platinum. Every option (I think) except electric rear seats, tiptronic steering wheel, ski hatch, towbar & dimming door mirrors.
e.g. Cruise control, NavPlus/TV, Bose, GSM, Xenons, Solar roof, Parking sensors, Alcantara/leather everywhere of course.  (internal dimming mirror added later)
1998 (very early) Ford Focus 1.8 Zetec; ABS/TCS, Heated screen/mirrors, Aircon, Auto-dim mirror, Leather, Trip computer, Cruise control, OEM Ford SatNav with CD changer.
And before that a lot of Rover 800s, a few oddities, a lovely Triumph Dolomite 1850HL with Overdrive and way back in my schooldays an Austin Seven aka Mini 850!
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