A8 Parts Forum  

Go Back   A8 Parts Forum > General Natter > Daily banter

Daily banter For everything, and anything that doesnt fit in elsewhere

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12th April 2011, 08:45 PM
darrenjoe90's Avatar
darrenjoe90 darrenjoe90 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: bradford
Posts: 775
Default the man rules

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.
__________________
Audi S8 Phantom Black
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 13th April 2011, 10:34 AM
Architex_mA8tey's Avatar
Architex_mA8tey Architex_mA8tey is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: London/Oxford/Swindon
Posts: 7,648
Default

LOL if you liked that then you'll like this too
Men Can Fix Anything
Open & download as word doc!
__________________

Confidence is the feeling you have before you know better . . . .
Audi A8 D2 3.7 Quattro Sport 1999 FL - Melange
2nd Place Winner - A8-Freunde Annual German Meet 2012 at Edersee
20" x 9" Bentley GTC Wheels with 385mm W12 Front Discs & Bentley Caliper Covers, Front Lowered on Coilovers, Xenons, Combined DRLs and LED Foglights to modified OEM front fog lamp position, Alcantara/Leather, Full Black Alcantara headlining + pillars and blind shelf, Bespoke Flat Bottomed Sports Steering Wheel, Dark Myrtle Wood, Autodim Mirrors, Bose, Blinds, Digital TV, Ski Hatch, Modified rear exhaust section for extra V8 Burble
Audi S8 D2 Final Edition 2002, Avus Silver with Red Leather Interior
Tiptronic with Sport mode button, Sony rear entertainment package, Bose sound system, Audi Navigation Plus, 20 inch Final Edition alloys, Full Cat Back Stainless Milltek exhaust, giving a great V8 burble
Audi A8L D2 4.2 Petrol with LPG - Ebony Black
Audi A8L D4 FL 4.0T Petrol twin turbo - Havana Black
Audi A2 1.6 FSi Sport - Dolphin Grey with Votex body kit and Red Leather Interior
and some other A8's A8L's and Mercs
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 13th April 2011, 11:45 AM
Conan_the_Librarian's Avatar
Conan_the_Librarian Conan_the_Librarian is offline
UberSeniorChiefLibrarian
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In a library
Posts: 3,865
Default

Excellent Stuff Neil!!!
__________________
Conan (the Librarian)

Watch it if you dare

Currently,
2000 S8, Merlin Purple, Leather Pack 1, Winter Pack 1, SPAX adjustable suspension, AP Racing 6 pot front caliper, 385mm fully floating disks, EBC Yellow Stuff Pads, Black Diamond grooved rear disks and predetor pads, D2 Doctors Brake Block.
1997 4.2 A8SQ - the Projekt. 12 years and ongoing!
1997 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. Restoration sat waiting; saved from the Scrapyard
2003 C5 Allroad 4.2Q - Cobolt Blue. Towing car. Laid up awaiting manual conversion.
2005 C5 Allroad 2.5TDi FE - Grey - Workhorse.
2015 Q3QS SLine - Daytona Grey. Lots of extras! Long Haired Admirals cutter.

Previously
2003 C5 A6 1.9TDI FWD - Loaner from D2 Doctor Lifex
1997 S8 - Ming Blue. Loaned out and written off. I loved that car. My first engine swap after cambelt failure.
1996 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. 178k on a cambelt! Trader's 8. Delivered to A8Parts at Lifex.
2003 2.8 A8SQ - powder blueish. Fill in for a while. Sold on.
1998 1.8T A4 Avant FWD. Ming Blue (there's a theme here), PEX for the 97 S8.
And a list of non VAG going back 40 years before I saw the light.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 15th April 2011, 07:42 PM
Ska's Avatar
Ska Ska is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 230
Default

:rofl::rofl::rofl:
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:05 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.