|
|
|||||||
| Daily banter For everything, and anything that doesnt fit in elsewhere |
 |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
23rd August 2012, 06:41 AM
|
||||
|
||||
Be careful where you get your fuel
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. ****ed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!" The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. 'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.' 
|
|
#3
23rd August 2012, 08:03 AM
|
||||
|
||||
 
__________________
2002 Final Edition S8. Ebony black with Silver Grey leather and myrtle wood trim. Current mods: solar sun roof, 20mm rear spacers, 15 mm on front, red brembo callipers, 6k headlights, rear view camera, engine remap, alloy dash dial rings, alloy navi rings, tt/phaeton pedal upgrade, (and custom matching foot rest) dension ipod interface & parrot hands free kit (both fully hidden), av input, tv in motion switched thro' PF switch in blanking plug right of steering column, Audi 'quattro' sill covers, repositioned centre console switches, radio clock, .Planned mods: auto-dimming rear view mirror, dash cam (as steamship's), fit the ski hatch, refit philips drl's (or maybe not - nope, definitely not - horrible botch!).
|
|
#4
23rd August 2012, 08:09 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
This is just brilliant
__________________
 2006 D3 S8 5.2 V10 Ceramic Brakes, Bang&Olufsen, DTV, DAB, Rear Camera, BT, TPMS, Soft Close, Auto Boot, AMI , 4 Zone AC, Home Link, All Electric Blinds, Fingerprint, Ski Hatch, Black Extended Leather, Heated Sport Seats, Alacantra, Carbon Trim inc Aluminium Pack 2. 2015 A3 S line 1.4 TFSI - for the missus to keep her away from my car. Standard S-line equipment, no extras. 2006 D3 A8 3.7 V8 - SOLD but not forgotten
|
|
#6
23rd August 2012, 12:02 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Well done
 That one cheered me up this morning.....
__________________
I Love the smell of petrol in the morning! Other vehicles 1968 Rover P5B Coupe (Modified & V-Quick, but I have to sell this now  ... Boo Hoo!)'92 Mitsubishi Pajero V6 (Petrol) Super Exceed (Gone now) '06 Harley Davidson Night Train Oh Yes....... The '98 PF S8!
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
