Windscreen washer jets?
 

Err... calgon didn't work for me (after reading the other thread on this)

The washer jets for the headlights work... the ones for the windscreen don't ... unless i keep hitting the stork back and ofrth repeatedly and i get a little splutter each time....

What time do? :(

Nobody?

How about really tiny needle??? From both ends if it won't work just from the outside.

Is the pickup blocked? Have you had a bacterial growth of slime in the washer bottle?

I've had it, but then it blocks the filter on the bottom of the pump and non of the washers were working, unless there is another one separate for the windscreen??

Sounds like the pipe work is either blocked, off or leaking so you're just not getting the pressure at the nozzle - if the nozzle was blocked then that may also have caused it in the first place. I'd check all the hoses first to make sure they are all in place and connected and not leaking

It's to be noted that the washer jets for the headlights work fine and normal!

Just the windscreen doesn't work correctly

Don't know about D3 but D2 has 2 pumps 1 for screen 1 for lights. I had to push some stainless wire down the nozzles to clear the, i think the car was in a hard water area at some point in its life. There was something in them causing low pressure that or there is a mesh sreen in the nozzle and i've pushed it out, either way it's much better than before.

Can you unplug the nozzle from behind and see if water is delivered?
I doubt all nozzles would block at the same time, but it would conform water is delivered or not, then work at the other end - how does the pump sound.
Try emptying the washer bottle and fill with a hot jet wash as the speed of that water will cause a lot of turbulence and hopefully dislodge crud.

No the part where it connects to the nozzle isn't visible... the water pipe goes up into the bonnet itself at the corner, then you don't see anything anymore - it actually runs inside the bonnet. And where the nozzle is there is no rear access to it :(

Also tried needling it as advised earlier in the thread - no change :(

The Nozzles come out through the bonnet from below if I read the manual correctly.

Have a look through the files, you will figure it out from there once you have looked at the car I'm sure.

I'm 100% sure now that headlights washers are equipped with individual pumps, 2x for headlights, 1x for windscreen

So as snapdragon mentioned, there will be like a very thin bactericidal growth of slime which got to the bottom of the tank where the filter is.
I've had same issue recently, headlight washers were working fine but the windscreen jets were literally dribbling.
So, driver side wheelarch near the driver's door, unscrew two bottom screws, pull the wheelarch with a flat scredriwer and you will see bottom of the tank and a pump.
Pull the pump up and there will be left a black rubber ring which is actually a filter.
If there is a water in the tank I will guarantee you water will shoot out as soon you pull this filter out. Clean of properly think skin type growth and put bits back together. But as mentioned before, give a quick.blast from the top ideally with a jetwasher or couple of bottles of hot water to flush the rest of the growth from inside the tank.
If you don't do that it may get block almost instantly or withing coupe of days, it happened to me.

Sorry for the write up but @ A&E atm very bored ;)

^^^ wot he said. I had the same on my 3.0 Tdi. Filter hunged, very poor / intermittent squirting. Cleaned it out and good as new +++

I should also add that this bacteria can be fatal if the water mist is inhaled into the lungs and is not treated within a few days.
If it smells a bit sulphurus, it is Legionella bacterium, but like measles you can only get it once and it only seems to affect men. It loves the warm water of washer bottles in engine compartments.

Try using (baby/beer) bottle steriliser in suitable concentration to kill the stuff first - if you try detecting legionella bacterium by sniffing for it it might be a bit like looking for a gas leak with a naked flame. :(

???

He's agreeing with you about cleaning the tank filter.

+++

SORRY boys, I was on Valium (diazepam) all day yesterday and today as we speak, I don't really know what is going on and will catch you up later ;)

Red circle shows the location of the screenwash pump.

Is it sorted now??

Literally cannot get to the bottom of the bottle thing, I'm just not 'mechanical' enough to do that... tried poking the nozzles at the bonnet, and nothing has changed. :(

I will try later on to make a step by step guide inc. photos and tools, trust me, it's very simple 5-10min

Peeling back the lining behind the wheel freaks me out a bit, scared if I don't put something back correctly not to mention the warnings of legionnaires lol!

Thing is, I've had two minor things needed doing to my car since I've bought it, one is changing a headlight and one is fitting a tracker...

To this day, the three mechanics I've asked to do my headlight have given me the car back saying they can't do it - and I'm not taking it to Audi as they want £292+VAT....

As with the tracker, a job that should've taken the guy 15 minutes took him three hours and calling out a senior engineer, before finally having it installed allbeit not very well inside the cabin, throwing up the next problem in which the A8 somehow insulates the cabin so well there is no signal getting out of the car!

Seems to me like this A8 as beautiful and amazing as it is, was not designed to be touched, tinkered or played about with by anyone other than Audi engineers themselves! :(

Just done it, picture will follow in next 5min, let me just edit them, it takes 5min to do it and put the lining back is as easy as making a cup of tea, you have to pull only a part of it.

To change headlight you need to take the bumper off but again, its easy.
If you will ever be in London and will have spare 2-3 hours I could always do that for you. Done it few times now and got all the tools needed to do it smoothly.

Ok I'll give it a go seeing as you've been so kind enough to make an image how-to for me, really appreciate it mate :)

As for the headlight yeah if i'm ever nearby i'll definitely give you a shout and get you a few beers for the help... last i remember mechanic said i had to remove the wheels and several parts of the engine to get to the headlights etc... ballache!

All you need is a TORX but certain flat head screwdriver will do the job as well

Just pull the lining, impossible to damage anything

Unplug the connector

Pull the pump out a little so you can have enough room to unclip the hose

If your bottle is full and water water is not gashing out at this stage then you know this will fix your issue.

Put pump on side as now you will have to pull a little rubber ring which is a filter and as soon you take it out water will gash out so keep the connector out of the way.

Let it drain and crack on with the rubber ring/filter
Remember, legionnaire spreads in the form of spray or steam.

You water company delivers even up to 4 bacteria of legionnaire a day, but its only dangerous in situations mentioned above. survives only in the range of 20-60 degrees

Clean the plastic mesh/filter, put it back, clip the hose back, insert the pump where it was, push the connector back on until clips, bend lining so the edge goes first behind the panel and it will all slide in nicely, 3 screws back on and you are done

Thanks so much mate, I'll give that a go during daylight tomorrow. Really REALLY appreciate it. Fingers crossed it solves my issue!

What a idiot !!!
Engine parts????

Wheels on, arches off, engine under tray pops down after undoing 3 screws, 7screws at the top, 3 on each side and bumper off, then another 4 or 6 per headlight to take unit out and then same thing in reverse to put it back, done, but it takes time

You're welcome mate +++

Hey M-A8!

I have been unable to get on the forums for a while, just forgot my password and so on but today managed it. Just wanted to say that your step-by-step guide was invaluable and that it solved the problem instantly.

I'm not mechanically minded or anything, but the guide was so simple even I could do it. So many many many thanks! :D

No problemo mate +++
So it was the blocked mesh at the end I guess?
Glad you've had it sorted as I know how annoying is to not have it