How BMW Drivers think.....
 

A day from the diary of a BMW driver...

"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on (they're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3 L). But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

Lol very good! I like it.

wish I could upload this to the Mini forum..... but it would be taken as a insult to the BMW mini and BMW "bashing" is banned :(

Shame. this would have gone down a treat with most people! :)+++

:-)....waiting for Amar's right of reply?...

:rofl:

:ROFL:
On que...

Sorry but I see way more Audi drivers (usually 2.0 TDi) then BMW drivers driving like cocks. It's fun though, i've debaged the 4.2 from the back of my car so they are easily a dot in my rear view in a few seconds.
Neil, I actually think BMW did a good job of the mini just like they did with the Rollys Royce, it's still unmistakably Mini whilst having a more modern design. I've driven the supercharged one and some basic 1.6 ones but the clubman is disgusting and the A1 is a much better car overall. (I drove them back to back)

Hee Hee..

To be fair to Amar, last time I drove home from Old Trafford, my passenger (a beemer driver) kept pointing out how all the aggressive drivers were Audi owners.........


.........so I nutted him....:D

rotflmao

TROLLL!!!.. ON THE INTERNET!!! Thought you ought to know lol

The BMW Mini (BINI) it a soleless piece of poo compared to the British Classic!

I too am in the anti BMW mini camp i'm afraid having had my '78 Clubman Estate.

I had it alongside my 8 and I got as much of a smile of the Clubby as i did in the 8. Having driven the BINI, it's lost all mini character for me.

Yes, it a good car but for me a. it is not 'mini' [it's 2ft longer and 1ft wider than the original] and b. the driving characteristics are like that of any modern hatch being nearly twice as heavy as the original.

DOn't get me wrong...it's a nice car in the same way the golf and a3 are but it isn't a mini for me :rolleyes:

-Oli

http://image48.webshots.com/48/5/83/...2eXnTYr_ph.jpg

Hear hear and amen to that! My first car was a 72 mini clubman estate too and it was a blast around town! The only reason I changed it was when I started to drive s much longer journey to work and it struggled a bit over the hills. My parents werent too impressed when I swapped it for a 2.5 litre ford Granada lol. :D

I know exactly what you mean, a good car but not a Mini and soulless. A bit like the D2 vs D4 for me. I was actually having a look at a Bini last night as I thought it would be a reliable/cheap to run car but found out a Lupo was way cheaper to insure so that idea has gone out the window.

Lupos have a lot more personality! Can be kitted out rather nicely also. Euro style lupos can look hot!

A cracking summary of the BMW driver but to be fair they're only following the Driver Handbook that comes with the 3, 5 & X series. It also shows them pictures of how to park in disabled only bays so they will not be too inconvenienced when out shopping.

Good first post Woodpoleman. Welcome to the forum. I think you'll fit in just fine here! +++

IF you're considering the Lupo you may want to also look at the Arosa - it tends to be cheaper and it's pretty much the same model :)

Thanks for the tip Oli, I've been looking at them too. It's going to be a great no claims bonus builder. I wonder if the Seat is cheaper to insure...

The 1.4 tdi's are the most desirable - only £35/yr tax! :)

Looking at the revo site, they may chip nicely too +++

Hmmmm, from a longstanding S8 owner who is also the VERY PROUD owner (and driver) of a fantastic BMW E53 4.8is I don't agree with the BMW-bashing brigade.... :tuttut::tuttut: I don't drive like a t"£$er in the same way that I am assured that White(or any other colour) Van Men / Women / People don't all drive like t"£$ers either......:p:p Lots of clotz behind wheelz on our roads in any and every model of vehicle.

BMW bashers are just jealous, anyway!!! :D:D

:Confused: Ha ha.... yeah...... :ROFL:


I was almost run off the road by a Bini yesterday. This driver didnt anything but aid me in warming to these not so little German knock offs knows and the BMW MINI (BINI)

He under took me and high speed and cut in front of me almmost taking my front wing off. "it" then began to then swear at me for giving him a disproving honk and flashed my lights at him. I have anything but warmed to them. this guy stopped at the traffic lights and just sat there with his middle finger in the air for about 5 minutes until the lights changed again. He was obviously trying to provoke me and he almost succeeded as a few times I reached for the steering lock and had to mentally slap myself and almost phicially restrain myself. If those lights stayed red for much longer, Im not sure it would have gone down the way it did. I dont condone violence, but hes lucky hanna was with me. This guy then proceeded to swerve in front of me slamming on him brakes and speeding off only to slow down to let us catch up (I wasnt trying to, as I know If I had the chance to again I might not be able to resist beating the hell out of him) but as soon as we got close again he would slam his brakes on then speed off. God he was a moron., and I would still give anything to have him out of his car down a dark alley. The jokes on him though, after I got fed up I decided to overtake and lost him! 1.3 20year old Rover mini (it was the misses mini) vs 2008 BMW MINI. see ya. You just cant handle as well or fit into the same gaps.

Anyway. thats being building up over the last 24hours so thanks for allowing me the op to vent! +++

Astons new supermini the Cygnet on sale now too. It'll be nicer inside but that comes with a price.
http://forum.a8parts.co.uk/attachmen...1&d=1295894784

Fact is, ELMO, the moron could have been in any car - he just happened to be in a Mini. Doesn't mean all Mini drivers are dangerous clowns. That sort of disgusting and dangerous behaviour happens all to frequently - I'm sure we have all been victims at one time or another - but the brainless droids responsible (and there are quite a few in the Midlands town I live in) drive anything from a series of hot hatches to transit vans to hi-powered performance cars or scrappy rustbuckets.

Attacking one marque above any other is senseless and simply causes offence :-( - I own a BMW and am proud of it, I'm not a dangerous or inconsiderate driver, and I know many other BMW drivers like me. Likewise, I've seen incredibly bad beahviour from Audi drivers at times - does that make me or anyone on this forum somehow as bad? I think not indeed. :-(:-(:-(

Condor, its just playful banter. Don't take it to heart. BMW make a fantastic product. I'd chose a BMW over an Audi 70% of the time. Anyone that disregards a BMW because of some old fashioned stereotype is simply missing out. For the record I do prefer Audi as a brand but BMW as a product. However I'd nearly always take a RS Audi over its M counterpart. The D2 in my opnion is simply the best luxury car of its time too.
What Audi can't come close to is the way a BMW drives, it just slices through the road with so much precision and everything is so perfectly balanced that even a 320D in my opinion is more fun on a spirited country drive then my S8 ever was.

http://forum.a8parts.co.uk/attachmen...1&d=1295903352

Debate seems to be warming up! :Confused:

We only take the micky out of Beemer drivers because we drive Audi's top of the range marque. It's a good hearted rib pulling mainly to get Singh going!
:D

Please come and and meet us before admonishing our lighted hearted micky take of the nearest rival to Audi who is not quite there yet!

We should remember that not to long ago the BMW 3 series outsold the Ford Mondeao. Which just proves the Audi exclusivity! ;)

Actually, why is it I only get 'competitive' when I see an M3 or M5. Not a Scooby, skyliner, WRX or anything else?
Because I see them as worthy adversaries........++++++

And your right it's the **** not the car.

Friends?

Audi currently outsell BMW & Mercedes worldwide, by their own admission. Audi just aren't exclusive anymore :( I remember crusing around with my dad in quattro Audis in the early nighties when there were hardly any around.
The D2 is certainly still exclusive though, and that is one of the reasons I love it. I always get a buzz when I see another.

Condor - Whereabouts in the Midlands are you?

Its ok, guys really....I spend my working life getting rid of stereotypes every which way I can in my line of work, so I inevitably rise to the bait when I see attacks, however "innocent" the intention. :)

More to the point, that saviour of A8s/ S8s, St Ben, rescued my S8 from her terminal alternator woes last week so she is mobile again. I love the S8 dearly and would not easily get rid, but my BMW is pure class AND excitement to drive - just a personal thing, both cars are very special. :D

Always friends, here, share a :cheers: and hope to meet up some day.

Amar - Burton on Trent.

That's interesting, what line of work are you in, Marketing? Look forward to meeting you soon. +++

Hey Condor.

It wasnt meant as a personal attach at all mate! Like I said I was mostly just venting off my anger.
Im really looking forward to getting myself out to a meet at some point, as I have only ever met Amar for about 5 minutes!

This guy was certainly a prime tool and could have been driving anything. Part of it was the fact that I was driving the misses classic mini. Classic minis seem to get a hard time on the road, People are under the misconception that they are slow and just dont care. No matter what classic mini I am driving there are always more people who want to pull out on you or cut in front of you. Part if it seems to be that they think if they get stuck behind you your going to hold them up, or perhaps they just cant bare the thought of a classic mini being in front of them. Anyway the standard practice is for people to pull out from behind you when approaching a slip road back onto a motorway to overtake you then pull off the motorway again in front of you and slam their brakes on at the last second before they hit the car in front or head straight over the roundabout. Considering almost all cars on the road today have ABS.... these people obviously dont consider the fact that the brakes on the mini are no where near as good and if you cant stop at time, they would be the first person to shout and scream that you ran into the back of them. Like I said, classic minis just get treated like a piece of cr@p on the roads, even though they can out handle almost any other car out there. And I know ours arent slow either. I was in the middle lane of a 3 lane carriageway when the BINI incident happened. Actually doing about 50mph (lol I know naughty naughty the Limit was 40mph) This guy just had to be in front of us at all cost, irrelivent of the speed and conditions. I bet if we weren't there he would have driven along at 40mph and respected all the other cars on the road at the time.

Sorry about the above rant, it was only mildly on topic so I will try and get back to it!

Each brand and model attracts a target customer, or a set of target customers. I strongly agree that this person could have been driving anything, but it was a BINI Cooper with large alloys and large window tints. Granted you can kit any car like this but the design of the car does lend itself to that sort of tw@t as their form of automotive transport... Just as the standard Bini or cabriolet models are aimed at the fairer sex of a certain age range. Its not nessisarly sterotying its just understanding what the manufactures target customer is. (And of course there are always cases where a product excels in sales outside of their target customer range, or have just been very successful in their marketing as to attract a wide variety of customers. The Bini has been lucky to inherit this trait from the Classic mini, of which it doesnt matter if you are a poor student or a famous rock star, a mini is very diverse in its customer base.) But the Bini Coopers will more than likely be driven mostly by morons

It is interesting though, how in recent years BMW and Audi seem to have actually swapped styling briefs. Both have been aimed and marketed at middle/upper management or sales reps with family (A4, 3 series and A6 5 series) The BMW got its reputation because It was mean looking and agressive, so attracted the tw@ts. Where the A4 and A6 were more understated and attracted the customers who wanted subtle and class.
But nowdays, the BMW 3 series that gave BMW such a bad name has become a rather subtle looking creature with smooth lines and understated soft styling, where the A4 has grown some muscle and gone for sharp lines and aggressive styling.

Hi E.L.M.O.,
A little off topic here, but having re-read your screen name, I thought I'd say that I wonder if we've ever met, I used to spend a hell of a lot of time at (& indeed look after, when the owner was on holiday) a tuning emporium in East London (E11). They're not there any more, but used to make the old minis perform most impressively... (as well as my old Rover V8!)

Just a passing thought.....

Back on topic - my missus drives a BMW mini and loves it. She also had a 'proper' mini years ago (so did I). Best thing about it is the brownie points I earned when I bought it for her!
But I do recall that the old 'proper' mini (mine was a 1965 model), whilst great fun, suffered from appalling build quality, leaky floors, rust everywhere, crappy brakes, moss in the sliding window channels, 'disposable' sills and subframes, an electricl fuel pump under the floor that packed up regularly because of water ingress and a battery that dissolved its own tray in the boot!
But I did learn a lot about cars on it - 4 engine rebuilds (the last one a bored out 1100), a gearbox rebuild and loads of go-faster mods (such as big carbs, stage 2 heads, heated manifolds)... whilst still insured as an 850cc model!
It was my first car and my first love.

Did I mention that for BMWs the indicators are an option......? :ROFL:

After my D2 A8 I looked at 7 series Beemers and the bigger Mercs but thought they were all a bit bling inside so got another A8, however this one has had a whole load of faults lately so might go looking again before it's out of warranty!

Prolly just my age......+++

Dezzy tip toes into this one with care. I looked at a few BM's and drove a few 3 series but thought the 50/50 weight and driving machine wern't all that to be fair and a little over rated (but thats my own personal opinion) i had a Mk11 escort i'm sure would have outhandled them but each to there own i think. I've never tried a M so what do i know.

What i will say though is i have an early 8 on a P plate and most BM's at the same age i have seen for sale come no where near the 8 and my 8 is by no means as good as i could be or as most the others i've seen owned by you guys.

Tip toes back out

Didn't know Ford did a mark Eleven Escort!

Statistically speaking at least one '8 owner on here drives like a complete ****, convinced that his 6'6 wide german panzer is in fact the same width as his motorbike.

*Bill looks in mirror*


Ah, so that's why I didn't buy a Beemer, didn't want to give anyone warning did I?

Does anyone know what the weight distribution is on our 8s? I read somewhere it was as much as 70/30 front to rear!