Oh dear me - look what I bought!
 

So, for the first time I can see my "new" car in full sun. :(
The swirly monster has been busy, what's to do? This is the bonnet:

That should keep you busy for a few days

the old gits standing round a Vauxhall bonnet thread is a pretty good example of what can be achieved by complete novices after a session from an expert, some of us even went on to "practice" on our own cars with very good results+++

That's not too bad, looks more like buffer trails to me, I'll swap you my swirls for yours if you like. I have some really huge swirls to correct. I'll take some photos asap

I'm going to ask my tame detailing man to have a look when we're into better (spring) weather.
He's the son of one of our neighbours (few doors down the road - retired plumber who knows everyone) and often visits them to bring his kids over, so a quick cash job while he leaves them with the grandparents fits in well. ;)
He did a superb job on my old S8 for my sons wedding about 18 months ago.