[Conan_the_Librarian]

Bill,

I am happy to write a note for you to the Long Haired Admiral! Something along the lines of.....

Dear Mrs Blank,

Please could Bill come out to play. We have noticed that he is reaching dangerous levels of cynicism and strongly advise that he be allowed to spend a day with other poor cynical and intellectually stunted Audi 8 owners who can help with group therapy sessions and the emotional sharing of life changing moments. While nearly all under endowed and emotionally unstable, we do have common purpose and are fundamentally good people. None of us have run over a small furry animal in the last 24 hours, nor do we harbour grudges against birds that crap on our cars for more than an eternity. We tolerate hot hatch drivers that are so visually impaired they believe (only briefly) that their Halfrauds Saxo 106 cicncentqunto plastic 3 cyclinder special has the slightest chance at the lights against us. We have been known to allow our wives and sometimes our children to sit in our cars without cable-tying their hands and feet together and indeed I myself have had someone else's children in the car without having to be in a sack in the boot bound and gagged (although they ended up there when they tried to use the unused passenger entertainment system).
So, please, please PLEASE can Bill come out to play.

Yours almost sincerely,

The A/S 8 Forum Pygmies