S4phil,
I have been there. With water in the oil thare are many options for gasket failure. Remenber that your oild system is running at approx 6 to 8 bar. Your coolant is only running at 1.7 to 1.9 bar. So for oil to get into your water, the oild must be close to your water system wher the oil is under pressure.
For water to get into your oil, the water must be close to an oil gallery that isnt under pressure. As the entire water system is under pressure but only the oil supply system is under pressure there are vcery few places where oil under pressure is adjacent to your coolant. Those places are the supply to the cam bearings in the heads and the oil cooler. If its thye heads then it's new head gaskets and maybe a skim of the heads. But only microns, no more, as the valves are interferance fit.
However, in the oil cooler, the casseste is bathed in water with the oil under pressure inside. if there is a leak in the cassette, then when its warm oil will mix with the water; this happened to me and it wasn't until I pressure tested the cassette at operating tempreture that it was discovered. When it was cold it didn't leak at all
__________________
Conan (the Librarian)
Watch it if you dare
Currently,
2000 S8, Merlin Purple, Leather Pack 1, Winter Pack 1, SPAX adjustable suspension, AP Racing 6 pot front caliper, 385mm fully floating disks, EBC Yellow Stuff Pads, Black Diamond grooved rear disks and predetor pads, D2 Doctors Brake Block.
1997 4.2 A8SQ - the Projekt. 12 years and ongoing!
1997 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. Restoration sat waiting; saved from the Scrapyard
2003 C5 Allroad 4.2Q - Cobolt Blue. Towing car. Laid up awaiting manual conversion.
2005 C5 Allroad 2.5TDi FE - Grey - Workhorse.
2015 Q3QS SLine - Daytona Grey. Lots of extras! Long Haired Admirals cutter.
Previously
2003 C5 A6 1.9TDI FWD - Loaner from D2 Doctor Lifex
1997 S8 - Ming Blue. Loaned out and written off. I loved that car. My first engine swap after cambelt failure.
1996 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. 178k on a cambelt! Trader's 8. Delivered to A8Parts at Lifex.
2003 2.8 A8SQ - powder blueish. Fill in for a while. Sold on.
1998 1.8T A4 Avant FWD. Ming Blue (there's a theme here), PEX for the 97 S8.
And a list of non VAG going back 40 years before I saw the light. 
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