A big thank you to Adrian, who pretty much devoted his Sunday to sorting out my car. An even bigger thank you to Mrs. Adrian too.
As has been stated, Component Protection has been activated, so I'm looking at a trip to my local Audi dealership. I've been reading up on CP, and the symptoms I'm getting are typical.
I found this on the Audi resource site:
"When updating the firmware to 5570 it is possible that the CP will kick in, usually causing the bose amp to run on one side only."
That is one of the symptoms I'm getting. I also have:
1) Loss of Navi turn-by-turn in DIS.
2) Loss of CD / radio data in DIS.
3) Climate settings for passenger and driver have swapped sides - at least according to the display.
I'll post the logs tomorrow at some point. But overall, I'm happy to get my settings back in MMI, especially suspension settings.