[Delboy]

Originally Posted by David's8

Some may have seen this but it did make me laugh:

A distraught husband phones the police to report that his wife is missing:

Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping this morning & still has not reached home yet.
Inspector: What is her height?
Husband: Not sure - less than me?
Inspector: Build?
Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.
Inspector: Colour of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Inspector: Colour of hair ?
Husband: Changes according to the season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Husband: jeans or maybe a dress..... I don't remember exactly.
Inspector: Was she going in a car???
Husband: yes.
Inspector: can you tell me the number, name & colour of the car ? . . . . . ..
Husband: Black Audi S8 D2 model with 4.2 litre V8 engine generating 360 horse power with an five-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. Minor scratching and gravel rash on the bonnet and bumper. Its been fitted with LED sidelights and a bunch of extras such as rear blind, alcantara roof lining, full leather pack and is fitted with 19 inch diamond cut final edition 9 spoke alloy wheels which have just been re-furbed..... and then the husband started crying...

Inspector: Don't worry sir, we will find your car...

I'm crying just now because that's so true