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Daily banter For everything, and anything that doesnt fit in elsewhere

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Old 2nd October 2012, 11:19 AM
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sloss sloss is offline
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Location: Aberdeen
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Default Very savvy Policeman

A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.

The driver is a real bar steward, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.

The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms. The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.

He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature.

The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.

The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an ********."

Two months later they're in court.

The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he has a heap of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a barrister to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.

Under cross examination the barrister for the defense asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"

The police officer replies: "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Barrister: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"

"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."

"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and hostile?"

"Yes, Sir.”

"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for ********?"

“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”
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Old 2nd October 2012, 11:25 AM
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The_Laird The_Laird is offline
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Location: Redmile: Leics, Notts, Lincs border - near Belvoir Castle
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:rofl:
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2002 Final Edition S8. Ebony black with Silver Grey leather and myrtle wood trim.
Current mods: solar sun roof, 20mm rear spacers, 15 mm on front, red brembo callipers, 6k headlights, rear view camera, engine remap, alloy dash dial rings, alloy navi rings, tt/phaeton pedal upgrade, (and custom matching foot rest) dension ipod interface & parrot hands free kit (both fully hidden), av input, tv in motion switched thro' PF switch in blanking plug right of steering column, Audi 'quattro' sill covers, repositioned centre console switches, radio clock, .
Planned mods: auto-dimming rear view mirror, dash cam (as steamship's), fit the ski hatch, refit philips drl's (or maybe not - nope, definitely not - horrible botch!).
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