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Daily banter For everything, and anything that doesnt fit in elsewhere |
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#1
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Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Council employee. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen biscuits. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 biscuits each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a pint of milk, got a ½ pint glass from the cupboard and poured exactly ¼ of a pint without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was very good. Then the three men turned to the Council employee and said, "What can your cat do?". The Council guy called to his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the biscuits, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, made love to the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in a claim for compensation and went home for the rest of the week on sick leave. |
#2
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Conan (the Librarian) Watch it if you dare Currently, 2000 S8, Merlin Purple, Leather Pack 1, Winter Pack 1, SPAX adjustable suspension, AP Racing 6 pot front caliper, 385mm fully floating disks, EBC Yellow Stuff Pads, Black Diamond grooved rear disks and predetor pads, D2 Doctors Brake Block. 1997 4.2 A8SQ - the Projekt. 12 years and ongoing! 1997 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. Restoration sat waiting; saved from the Scrapyard 2003 C5 Allroad 4.2Q - Cobolt Blue. Towing car. Laid up awaiting manual conversion. 2005 C5 Allroad 2.5TDi FE - Grey - Workhorse. 2015 Q3QS SLine - Daytona Grey. Lots of extras! Long Haired Admirals cutter. Previously 2003 C5 A6 1.9TDI FWD - Loaner from D2 Doctor Lifex 1997 S8 - Ming Blue. Loaned out and written off. I loved that car. My first engine swap after cambelt failure. 1996 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. 178k on a cambelt! Trader's 8. Delivered to A8Parts at Lifex. 2003 2.8 A8SQ - powder blueish. Fill in for a while. Sold on. 1998 1.8T A4 Avant FWD. Ming Blue (there's a theme here), PEX for the 97 S8. And a list of non VAG going back 40 years before I saw the light. ![]() |
#3
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:rofl:
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Andy. Current cars: BMW i4 M-Sport Peugeot 207 (the sons) Triumph Daytona 675 (2017 reg) =========================== Gone but not forgotten Ford Focus ST-2 Mk3 (the wifes) (stolen Oct 2023) 1972 T2 Bay Window Camper (Slow) Audi TT Mk1 225 - now with coil-overs and a 7inch touchscreen infotainment centre 2003 A8 Sport 4.2 (with ACC & LPG) (Feed up with all the issues so passed it on to a forum member) 2000 A8 FL QS 4.2 (with RNS-E - Nice ![]() |
#4
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This is good. Had my wife laughing too
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A journey of a thousand+ (epic) miles, begins with a single step, (to the door of an 8). Lau Tzu |
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