Those of you of a nervous disposition might want to skip ahead a bit here so here's a picture of some ridiculously cute bunnies:
Are you still here? Are you really sure???
Here's Lisbeth and Gizmo while you prepare yourself....
Ok, don't say I didn't warn you......
This is the driver's side tensioner as it came out
Holy ****!!! The pad broke in half on the drive here

The engine literally had minutes to live! I removed the tensioner and the pad stayed in the engine, broken in half sitting on the chain. One more cold start and it would have spat out the pieces of the pad and valves would have met pistons.
I had to go and have some cake after I found this. I forgot to take any more photos.
Talk about dodging a bullet.