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Scientists Discover New Element
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Conan (the Librarian) Watch it if you dare Currently, 2000 S8, Merlin Purple, Leather Pack 1, Winter Pack 1, SPAX adjustable suspension, AP Racing 6 pot front caliper, 385mm fully floating disks, EBC Yellow Stuff Pads, Black Diamond grooved rear disks and predetor pads, D2 Doctors Brake Block. 1997 4.2 A8SQ - the Projekt. 12 years and ongoing! 1997 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. Restoration sat waiting; saved from the Scrapyard 2003 C5 Allroad 4.2Q - Cobolt Blue. Towing car. Laid up awaiting manual conversion. 2005 C5 Allroad 2.5TDi FE - Grey - Workhorse. 2015 Q3QS SLine - Daytona Grey. Lots of extras! Long Haired Admirals cutter. Previously 2003 C5 A6 1.9TDI FWD - Loaner from D2 Doctor Lifex 1997 S8 - Ming Blue. Loaned out and written off. I loved that car. My first engine swap after cambelt failure. 1996 4.2 A8SQ - Ming Blue. 178k on a cambelt! Trader's 8. Delivered to A8Parts at Lifex. 2003 2.8 A8SQ - powder blueish. Fill in for a while. Sold on. 1998 1.8T A4 Avant FWD. Ming Blue (there's a theme here), PEX for the 97 S8. And a list of non VAG going back 40 years before I saw the light. |
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Quality!
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