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#1
13th November 2012, 06:02 AM
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50 Sheds of Gray
50 Sheds of Gray
 The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled blokes. Now A spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has Author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the Garden. Here are some extracts... Fifty Sheds Of Grey We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a Wall... But in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the Only place for a good shed. She stood before me, trembling in my shed. "I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with Me." So I took her to Nando's. She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then Harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot. Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains And shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though. "Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly. "Mmmm, kinky!" she purred. "Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed Roof." "I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be Punished." So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend. "Harder!" she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. "Harder!" "Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua ?" I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat. "Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos. "I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the Receipt. "Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench. "Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense." "Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to Sit down for weeks." She nodded. "Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay. "Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!" "Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up. "Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said, gently Massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD.
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Men have feelings too. For example we feel hungry..... 
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#2
13th November 2012, 06:53 AM
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Lol
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2002 Final Edition S8. Ebony black with Silver Grey leather and myrtle wood trim. Current mods: solar sun roof, 20mm rear spacers, 15 mm on front, red brembo callipers, 6k headlights, rear view camera, engine remap, alloy dash dial rings, alloy navi rings, tt/phaeton pedal upgrade, (and custom matching foot rest) dension ipod interface & parrot hands free kit (both fully hidden), av input, tv in motion switched thro' PF switch in blanking plug right of steering column, Audi 'quattro' sill covers, repositioned centre console switches, radio clock, .Planned mods: auto-dimming rear view mirror, dash cam (as steamship's), fit the ski hatch, refit philips drl's (or maybe not - nope, definitely not - horrible botch!).
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#3
13th November 2012, 07:44 AM
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:rofl:
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2002 D2 S8 – Ming Blue, Valcona leather, Vavona wood insert, solar sunroof (to be fitted), Heated rear seats, extended leather pack, 18” Avus, ski hatch, Bose, auto dim rear view mirror, rear blind.
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